


Dang Anne Roomba (A DRV3 Chatfic)

by stealyourbones_dot_png (deadinside_dot_com)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (hands you pansexual korekiyo) here take it, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, M/M, Rantaro smokes weed, Recreational Drug Use, cursed ass names ig, her name is miyadera in this fic, i called rantaro a lettuce head in a dream once, i hate sister shinguji, i love amaguji, i love amaguji did i mention, i may add THH and Goodbye Despair and UDG, i will kill her with my own two hands, k1-bo is spelled kiibo, kiyo doesn't know what juuling is 2k19, kiyo is my drv3 best boy can u tell, kokichi is ouma not oma, what a cunt smh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2020-12-28 20:42:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21142904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadinside_dot_com/pseuds/stealyourbones_dot_png
Summary: this is deadass a drv3 chatficI have no wordsI wrote this while about 30% there mentally





	1. kiyo is an undeucated clown

**Author's Note:**

> this!! is cursed!! i'm working on a cursed Rapunzel AU amaguji fic rn so :eyes:  
NAMES:  
Kokichi- Stupid Rat Bitch  
Kaede- Peeano  
Shuichi- Shoe Itchy  
Miu- Robot Fucker  
Kirumi- Ma  
Maki- Ass Ass In  
Kaito- SPAAACE!  
Rantaro- AvOwOcadOwO  
Korekiyo- Folklore Cunt  
K1-BO (Kiibo)- Refridgerator  
Ryoma- Want To Dead  
Gonta- Pure Bug Boy  
Angie- Cultist  
Tenko- Stronk Lesbiab  
Himiko- MAAAGIC  
Tsumugi- Weeaboo
> 
> this chapter is
> 
> short

**-Iruma Miu created HEE HEE GAY-**

**-Iruma Miu added Kaede Akamatsu, Shuichi Saihara, 13 others-**

**Iruma Miu:** SUP GAYS

**Ryoma Hoshi:** not everyone here is gay smh

**Harukawa Maki:** eat shit and die, iruma

**Ouma Kokichi:** fun!!

**-Iruma Miu removed admin rights from Kaede Akamatsu, Shuichi Saihara, 13 others-**

**-Iruma Miu changed 16 nicknames-**

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** waah!!! meanie!!!!

**Robot Fucker:** too bad, brat!

**Shoe Itchy:** Everyone should introduce themself, so we know who everyone is.

**Want To Dead:** ryoma

**Folklore Cunt:** I don't think I like this name very much

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** ko k i c h i

**Robot Fucker:** Miu!!!

**Peeano:** ...Kaede

**AvOwOcadOwO:** BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAJSAJLFJSDKFJDKLSJKLFJGKDJGKLDS 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** rantaro

**Refridgerator:** This name is robophobic!!! Also what the heck did Rantaro even mean?

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** Translating from Gay to English: "BAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAJSAJLFJSDKFJDKLSJKLFJGKDJGKLDS" means "I think this is funny, but I cannot express it normally because I am a bottom."

**AvOwOcadOwO:** I A M A S WIT CH, G OOD SI R

**SPAAACE!:** Kaito!

**Ass Ass In:** change my name or die, loser

**Weeaboo:** Tsumugi!

**Folklore Cunt:** Korekiyo

**Folklore Cunt:** I am assuming that we are going to ignore that Rantaro just outed his sexual preference?

**Stronk Lesbiab:** Kyaaaa! So many degenerate males! Disgusting!

**Folklore Cunt:** So we are, alright.

**Ma:** For the last time, I am not the mother of this group!

**MAAAGIC:** ok karen

**Ma:** I am not a Karen!

**MAAAGIC:** sure jan

**Cultist:** Atua is displeased with this name, Iruma!

**Robot Fucker:** not my fault you're in a cult lol

\---

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *2:16 AM***

**Folklore Cunt:** This may seem a strange question to ask at such an unholy hour, but what is a "Juul"?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** JDFJDKJDSAFJKDSFJLFDASLDFSJFDJKADFJFJKDSAKJAJFJKFJKFGJKDHJHFJ

**Robot Fucker:** BAHAHAHA I'M ABOUT TO PISS MYSELF

**Robot Fucker:** KIYO IS AN UNEDUCATED C L O W N

**Folklore Cunt:** ??????????????????????????

**Refridgerator:** A Juul is a vape, Kiyo

**Folklore Cunt:** Ah

**Folklore Cunt:** I see

**-Folklore Cunt left the chat-**

**Robot Fucker:** BAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T FUCKIGN BELIEVE KIYO DOESN'TK NWO WJAT A JUUL IS SFKSJF

**AvOwOcadOwO:** A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A

**-Folklore Cunt is online-**

**Folklore Cunt:** Followup question-

**Folklore Cunt:** What do you do when your dorm neighbor is juuling so much that your entire room smells like mango via the air vents?

**Want To Dead:** kick them in the shins

**Folklore Cunt:** I, unlike you, can actually see above someone's shins.

**Want To Dead:** fair

**Want To Dead:** kick them in the chest

**Folklore Cunt:** I like where you are headed, cryptic cat man.

**Want To Dead:** thanks class cryptid

**Folklore Cunt:** :|)|

**AvOwOcadOwO:** are-

**AvOwOcadOwO:** are the lines your mask

**Folklore Cunt:** Indeed.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** f ri ck thats ki nda whol es ome

\---

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *3:45 PM***

**Robot Fucker:** how would yalls feel if i stole an entire large pepperoni pizza from dominos? asking for a friend

**Pure Bug Boy:** Gonta would be sad if Miu stole something D-:

**Robot Fucker:** every time i see that face i cry a little more inside for being a meanie

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** gimme your bizza

**Shoe Itchy:** not very good, unfortunately

**Ass Ass In:** i want one

**Peeano:** o-one slice or one pizza

**Ass Ass In:** _all_

**Want To Dead:** cool would you like fries with that

\---

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *12:00 AM***

**Folklore Cunt:** The loud country music that plays in the Texas Roadhouse bathrooms drowns out the sounds of my mental breakdown. Please understand.

**Shoe Itchy:** a

**Shoe Itchy:** are you okay

**Folklore Cunt:** Thank you for inquiring! The answer is _**no.**_

**AvOwOcadOwO:** mood

**Peeano:** should i be worried about you?

**Folklore Cunt:** Thank you for inquiring! The answer is _**most likely.**_

**Peeano:** are you gonna respond to me with those things like an autogenerated help bot

**Folklore Cunt:** Thank you for inquiring! The answer is _**yes!**_

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u wanna hang out and like chill with mee

**Folklore Cunt:** Why?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** uhh i'm like kind of high right now and need someone to be spacey with me,, 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u don't have to also be high but you listen to my weird ideas so i like being with u

**Folklore Cunt:** Understandable, I will travel to your dorm.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** thaankkkkk yoouuu kiyoooooooooooooooooooooooooo_loveu_ooooooooooooooooo

**Folklore Cunt:** What does that mean?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** idk i'm high


	2. love and feelings and shit. that's tight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything goes from HEEHEE TIKTOK to WTF FEELINGS in a matter of seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus fuck!! I haven't posted in forever!! I am so sorry!!
> 
> a few things  
-happy 2020!! that shit's NEAT  
-I love saiibo!! I care them!! I care amaguji as well  
-I have officially moved on from the BNHA fandom, so it is likely that backwards will never be finished :|  
sorry about that! I might finish if i have the inspiration, though!!

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *2:16 AM***

**Folklore Cunt:** I have been listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1_HNTbwwRw&list=LLEPSVDL3x-TrLYkqQmFacVQ&index=21&t=0s) on loop courtesy of Amami and now I feel like I'm on drugs and also that nothing matters. 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u good broski

**Folklore Cunt:** I am inclined to say no.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** :(

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** lmaooo rantaro introduced kiyo to tiktok songs

**Folklore Cunt:** What is "TikTok"?

**Robot Fucker:** OH MY FUCKIN GOD BAHAHAHAH KIYO IS SO FUCKIN UNCULTURED

**AvOwOcadOwO:** kiyo,, my mans,, my homie,, my broski,, how do you not know what tiktok is

**Folklore Cunt:** I literally feel so offended you all cannot make fun of me for not being HiP wItH tHe YoUtH.

**Peeano:** i'm not gonna make fun of you!!

**Stupid Rat Bitch:** i am!!

**Peeano:** _autotune baby crying_

**Folklore Cunt:** I am not even going to question life anymore. What is meaning. What is my purpose. 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u have lots of purpose!!!!!!

**Folklore Cunt:** Do elaborate.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** well, you're genuinely kind!! even if u aren't up to date with ur memes and such, you study people and that's pretty neat!! you call people dumb compliments that nobody understands like Moist and i really appreciate that you show affection in your own way

**Folklore Cunt:** Ah,, I do not know what to say,,,

**AvOwOcadOwO:** homie get ur cute ass over here so we can cuddle and i can teach u about memes

**Folklore Cunt:** Thank you Rantaro, you are truly the epitome of pineapple on pizza

**AvOwOcadOwO:** ty,,,

**Robot Fucker:** pineapple on pizza is gross lmao

**Folklore Cunt:** You absolute fool. You absolute buffoon. Your tastebuds are not _refined_ enough to enjoy the delicacy that is pineapple on pizza. Pineapple on pizza is superior but your weakling tastebuds cannot appreciate it. I pity you. It is one of humanity's greatest achievements.

**Robot Fucker:** ok two things

**Robot Fucker:** you are disgusting. and incorrect.

**Robot Fucker:** and secondly does this mean u think rantaro is as great as pineapple on pizza. bc that's like, kinda gay.

**Folklore Cunt:** My feelings are none of your or anybody's business.

**Robot Fucker:** mhm. gay. just what i thought

**Folklore Cunt:** Shut your mouth. I am going to become educated on your stupid memes with Amami.

**Robot Fucker:** use protection and be safe

**Folklore Cunt:** I have no words. I have a word though. _Goodbye._

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *7:19 AM***

**Folklore Cunt:** Yeet. Wack. Bruh. 

**Shoe Itchy:** somebody stop him i cannot take this anymore

**AvOwOcadOwO:** no

**Shoe Itchy:** then perish

**AvOwOcadOwO:** sure

**Refridgerator:** I am sobbing why is Korekiyo doing this

**AvOwOcadOwO:** >:)

**Folklore Cunt:** Ah, I apologize. Rantaro told me to.

**Shoe Itchy:** what did you two do last night?

**Folklore Cunt:** We watched "vines" and now I fear I have let him rope me into something I cannot escape from.

**Shoe Itchy:** nice

**Robot Fucker:** i've decided to change his name lmao

**-Robot Fucker has changed Folklore Cunt's nickname to Folklore Lad-**

**Robot Fucker:** i've officially decided the word lad is better than cunt everyone take note

**Folklore Lad:** I quite appreciate the change, Iruma.

**Robot Fucker:** yeah whatever lmao idgaf

**Shoe Itchy:** hey keeb

**Refridgerator:** Yes Shuichi?

**Shoe Itchy:** wanna chill today? i have nothing to do

**Refridgerator:** Of course, Shuichi! It sounds like fun! ^v^

**Shoe Itchy:** dkfjaksjfkdjasklfjlskajfl

**Shoe Itchy:** cool,,

**-Shoe Itchy has gone offline-**

**Refridgerator:** Did I do something wrong?

**Folklore Lad:** I do not believe so, personally.

**Refridgerator:** Okay,,,

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, K1-B0 *4:51 PM***

**K1-B0:** Um, Korekiyo? You're an expert on humans, right?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Well, they do not call me the Ultimate Anthropologist for nothing.

**K1-B0:** Um, so... Professor Iidabashi programmed me to be as close to a human as possible, so I'm pretty certain I can feel human emotions, but I don't quite understand them...

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Oh?

**K1-B0:** What does it mean when your tummy feels all twisty when you're around someone? And you feel like you might explode and you might short-circuit? I know that I am not human, and I don't share the same experiences you do, but...

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Oh! Kiibo, that means you have romantic feelings for someone. I wasn't sure if that's what you were expecting, but it means you "like" them, or feel romantic attraction towards someone.

**K1-B0:** Ah,, that is what I was thinking. I've just never felt that way before... And I know this sounds weird to ask, but what does it mean to "like" someone? What does romance even feel like?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Love is one of the most precious emotions advanced beings can experience, and it is truly beautiful within the realm of humanity and AI-kind alike. Emotions are wonderful, are they not?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Anyhow, love is like... It's when you truly care for someone without rhyme or reason. It is involuntary and out of our control, and can sometimes be completely unreasonable. But being in love is wanting to spend time with someone, and to be with them as long as you can. It can make you reckless and unreasonable, but it can also make you shine so much brighter than before. It's magical to think about, that someone in your life can cause you so much pure happiness. They brighten your day, and they can make you burst with happiness with just a single smile.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** That was far too long of a response than you were likely looking for, but here we are.

**K1-B0:** Oh... I may like someone then, haha..

**K1-B0:** But I have another quick question,,, In most cases I see love between a man and a woman, am I wrong for... having feelings for another man?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Of course not, Kiibo. The media often fails to depict the fact that homosexual relationships are a large part of human society, especially within ancient civilizations. It pains me that people tend to erase the past with their Cis/Het ideals. Ancient Greek men were notoriously bisexual, and even famous Renaissance man Leonardo da Vinci was a homosexual man.

**K1-B0:** Oh! I was just worried, you know?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I understand! As a pansexual man, I get exactly where your worries lie.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Anyhow, you haven't told me who this mystery boy is, and you have made me rather intrigued.

**K1-B0:** But it's embarrassing!

**K1-B0:** And you described the feeling of love accurately, so I would like to know who you have your eyes on in return!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Alright, I can agree to that.

**K1-B0:** ...Shuichi.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** So my suspicions have been confirmed.

**K1-B0:** I know it's obvious... But you haven't answered yet!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I have a sinking feeling that everyone has guessed this by now, but I have gathered feelings for Amami.

**K1-B0:** Oh!! That's nice, I hope it all works out for you in the end!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** So do I... Anyhow, what do you like about Shuichi? I'm not trying to mock you, by the way.

**K1-B0:** Well... He's really cute and he smells nice and he treats me like I'm a regular person, and he was the first person to treat me like I wasn't any different than anyone else! And he's so kind and sweet... And he's so smart! He knows exactly what to say to make me smile... And now I'm going to make you tell me what you like about Rantaro, as payback!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Oh well, I guess I must. He is a free soul, unchained and untethered, traveling at will and floating in the atmosphere as if nothing matters. I admire him, and he treats me like a regular human being, not "The Class Weirdo," and that alone makes me feel as if he cares. He is beautiful inside and out, more so than any human I have ever met in my entire existance. His smile is radiant, and he makes me feel like I matter.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** And I know I get poetic, but that is how I truly feel.

**K1-B0:** Awww,,

**K1-B0:** I hope it all works out! Thank you for talking to me,, it means a lot! Talk to you later!

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *10:17 PM***

**AvOwOcadOwO:** damm,, u ever just HEE HOO 

**Folklore Lad:** I understand

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yeah yeah u get me man

**Folklore Lad:** Yes, I "get you."

**AvOwOcadOwO:** looks like no one is online huh

**Folklore Lad:** It seems that way.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** hey man, ty

**Folklore Lad:** What for?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** idk. listening to me? being my favorite? existing?

**Folklore Lad:** Ah.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** im gonna settle on existing

**Folklore Lad:** You want to thank me for existing? You should be thanking my parents.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** ksflkfj

**AvOwOcadOwO:** if u didn't exist u couldnt listen to me or be my favorite

**Folklore Lad:** I am your favorite?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yeah haha

**AvOwOcadOwO:** you're kind and cool and you're funny and you're passionate about what you love, and those all make me like you a lot so yeah you're my favorite

**Folklore Lad:** I do not know exactly how to respond...

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u don't have to respond

**AvOwOcadOwO:** night kiyo

**Folklore Lad:** Goodnight, Rantaro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! sorry i haven't updated in AGES wtf is wrong with me smh my head


	3. antics and romantics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things go from normal to gay to kind of frustratingly angsty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I'M VERY PROUD OF THE CHAPTER TITLE. IDK WHY. JUST. I THOUGHT I DID SOMETHING THERE HUH
> 
> I am chillin!!! I have an art account on Instagram and tumblr!! my @s are @scenekiyocomic on insta and my url on tumblr is bonethief-dot-jpg

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *9:31 AM***

**Peeano:** it may be early-ish, but i'm bored!! do y'all have a favorite song or a theme song??????? idk why i just wanted to know all of a sudden!!

**Robot Fucker:** i have better name ideas really quick before i answer your question

**-Robot Fucker changed Stupid Rat Bitch's nickname to *Circus Music Intensifies*-**

**-Robot Fucker changed Weeaboo's nickname to Miss Miku,,,-**

**Miss Miku,,,:** i like this!

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** I AM NOT A CLOWN WTF MEANIE

**Robot Fucker:** ur like a cult leader

**Robot Fucker:** ur cult is full of clowns

**Robot Fucker:** n e ways my theme song is bitches by mindless self indulgence

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** hmmmmmmm

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** do it all the time by IDKBTFM

**Miss Miku,,,:** damn!! uh... every day by bo en??? or like all eyes on me by or3o

**Peeano:** valid valid valid valid

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** weeb ass

**Cultist:** Atua says that it would be The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical

**Stronk Lesbiab:** g,,girls,, by,,, girl in re,,d,,

**MAAAGIC:** uh,,

**Peeano:** if u can't answer i will assign one for you

**MAAAGIC:** i'm too sleepy to come up with one on my own

**Peeano:** how bout dare by gorillaz bc i dunno what else to do

**MAAAGIC:** i mean it bops so whatever

**AvOwOcadOwO:** damn. the bidding by tally hall. i mean i'm not up for auction but it goes fuckin hard

**Robot Fucker:** i mean isn't that vaguely a song about a guy or two trying to win a lady over

**Robot Fucker:** who is your lady, rantaro :eyes:

**AvOwOcadOwO:** wow bold of you to assume it's not a man. also it's nunya

**Robot Fucker:** who tf is nunya

**AvOwOcadOwO:** nunya fucking business

**Robot Fucker:** I CAN'T BELIEVE I FUCKIGN FEL L FOR HTAT I;M SO FUCMINGN DUMB

**AvOwOcadOwO:** haha dumbass

**AvOwOcadOwO:** fr tho it's none of your business

**Robot Fucker:** it my server. it my business.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i don't trust you enough to dm u because you'll just tell everyone

**Robot Fucker:** what if i,, didn't :eyes:

**Folklore Lad:** Well, anyways, my theme song is apparently Turn The Lights Off by Tally Hall as well. I don't understand why Rantaro determined this for me?

**Shoe Itchy:** nobody by mitski

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** wow really i thought it was gonna be mcr

**Refridgerator:** I do not have a theme song as of now!!

**Want To Dead:** uh missing kitty. legit deadass 

**Pure Bug Boy:** Gonta do not have theme song, either...

**Ma:** I see no purpose in this activity...

**Ass Ass In:** Lights Out by MSI

**SPAAACE!:** uhhhh hahahaha like king of the clouds?? i don't fuckin know??

**Peeano:** well gonta is now boys will be bugs. even though that song is meaner than our lad. kirumi is tainted love. idgaf if you disagree with me i had to shove a meme song in here somehow and since kirumi doesn't care,, :eyes:

**Ma:** I am fine with this. Let me know if anyone needs me!

**Peeano:** as for kiibo,,, love at first sight by the brobecks. the brobecks are criminally underrated. not fair. they slap.

**Refridgerator:** I'm going to listen to it immediately!!

**Peeano:** hell yeah

**->Direct Message: Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro *9:45 AM***

**Iruma Miu:** broskaroonie istg tell me whomst you have caughteth feelings for

**Amami Rantaro:** ur gonna like,, make fun of me

**Iruma Miu:** this bitch righteth here likes piano freak so it's not like you can go lower

**Iruma Miu:** u said it's a dude right

**Amami Rantaro:** yea lmao. 

**Iruma Miu:** our class i'm assuming

**Amami Rantaro:** yea i'll tell u if u get it right which you probably will since there are only so many dudes in our class

**Iruma Miu:** ok so,, kokichi??

**Amami Rantaro:** no offense to kokichi but no fucking way in hell

**Iruma Miu:** can't be hoshi or gonta

**Amami Rantaro:** yeaah no

**Iruma Miu:** it's not shuichi either bc ik you guys are just friends. can't be kiiboy either, he's not ur type lmao

**Amami Rantaro:** how TF do you know what my type is

**Iruma Miu:** istg if it's kaito i'll

**Amami Rantaro:** ew lmao

**Iruma Miu:** omg,,

**Amami Rantaro:** yeeeeahhhhhhhhh????????????????????????????

**Iruma Miu:** YOU LIKE THE GREASY ANTHROPOLOGIST LMAOOOOO

**Amami Rantaro:** shUT THE FUCK UP

**Iruma Miu:** RANTARO AND KIYOOOOOOOO SITTIN IN A TREE

**Amami Rantaro:** SHUT YOUR FUCK

**Iruma Miu:** F-U-C-K-I-N-G

**Amami Rantaro:** IT'S NOT LIKE THAT YOU WHORISH EGG

**Iruma Miu:** then what _is_ it like

**Amami Rantaro:** _idk??? maybe the fact that he makes me feel all fuzzy inside and i wanna kiss his stupid face all the damn time??? and whenever he goes off on his lil tangents it makes my heart explode because it's so cute how passionate he is about history and anthropology and stuff??_

**Iruma Miu:** holy shit you're in deep loser

**Amami Rantaro:** MAYBE SHUT YOUR FUCK

**Iruma Miu:** you're long gone lmao,, how long has it been??

**Amami Rantaro:** _like seventh grade_

**Iruma Miu:** WE ARE SOPHOMORES

**Iruma Miu:** IN HIGH SCHOOL

**Iruma Miu:** YOU'VE BEEN SILENTLY PINING AFTER THE SAME DAMN BOY FOR _AROUND FOUR FUCKING YEARS_

**Iruma Miu:** u deserve a medal for commitment damn

**Amami Rantaro:** if you breathe a word of this to anyone istg it better work out in my favor or you're deAD

**Iruma Miu:** chill ur tits lmao i won't

**Amami Rantaro:** g o o d 

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *10:19 AM***

**-Robot Fucker changed AvOwOcadOwO's nickame to Fucks Oyikerok Ijugnihs In The Ass-**

**Fucks Oyikerok Ijugnihs In The Ass:** WHAT THE FUCK MIU DUDE U SAID U WOULDN'T

**Folklore Lad:** Whomst is Oyikerok Ijugnihs and why are you,

**Folklore Lad:** Pardon my language-

**Folklore Lad:** Fucking them in the ass?

**Fucks Oyikerok Ijugnihs In The Ass:** miu broke a promise to me and is being a massive WEE HUH

**Robot Fucker:** damn :pensive:

**-Robot Fucker changed Fucks Oyikerok Ijugnihs In The Ass's nickname to AvOwOcadOwO-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** damn. miu be wilding. i'm gonna stab her

**Folklore Lad:** Ah, so it was a result of whatever conversation you two had yesterday.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yea

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, Amami Rantaro *8:24 PM***

**Amami Rantaro:** u wanna chill rn? i have a blanket fort in front of the tv set up if you wanna snuggle and watch movies,, also we can have a sleepover if u want!!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** As wonderful as that sounds, I have a little bit of schoolwork to catch up on. I can be over in about twenty minutes, if that is alright?

**Amami Rantaro:** sounds great!! excited to see you :)

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** As am I!

**-New Message *8:52 PM*-**

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I have completed my studies, and I shall arrive in a moment.

**Amami Rantaro:** see u soon uwu

**Amami Rantaro:** what movie do u wanna watch?? 

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I am content with whatever you would like.

**Amami Rantaro:** uhh so we're watching die hard then

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Haven't we watched Die Hard at least four times?

**Amami Rantaro:** uh lmao yeah i,, we can watch,, uh,, alien?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I do not think we have watched Alien in a while, or at all. I am alright with that.

**Amami Rantaro:** wow 70s horror movies i am so scared kiyo quick hold my hand

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** _Ha-ha, very funny._ I'll see you in a moment, Amami.

**->Direct Message: Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro *10:10 AM***

**Amami Rantaro:** SO. 

**Amami Rantaro:** MIU. I UH. NEED TO TALK.

**Iruma Miu:** what the fuck is up

**Amami Rantaro:** ok he's sleeping so he won't see me typing but

**Amami Rantaro:** korekiyo and i stayed up till like 3 watching alien and aliens and chilling

**Amami Rantaro:** and i

**Iruma Miu:** :eyes: oh??

**Amami Rantaro:** I KISSED HIM MIU

**Iruma Miu:** *captain holt soundboard voice* get. some. get. some.

**Amami Rantaro:** wow i didn't know you watched b99 but moving on

**Amami Rantaro:** DAMN. HE LIKE. WE. DAMN. IT WAS A SCARY PART OF ALIEN AND THEN I WAS LAYING THERE IN HIS ARMS AND. BRUH. I . I KISSEDH IM. WE. I'M. THEN I JSUT. STOPPED AFTER LIKE 10 SECONDS AND WE WERE JSUT. DONE. AAND NO FURTHER MENTION. IT WAS WILD.

**Iruma Miu:** damn boy you can GET IT

**Amami Rantaro:** IM FREAKIGN OUT I LIKE. HIM, SO MUXH I SON'T WNT HIM TO HATE ME

**Iruma Miu:** chillax buckaroo i'm sure he doesn't hate you

**Amami Rantaro:** IK IK IK I'M JUST SCARED I FUCKED UP OUR FRIENDSHIP GOD FUCKING DAMN

**Iruma Miu:** ca.lm.ur.tits. it'll be fine dude, i don't think it will ruin whatever weird thing you guys had going on

**Amami Rantaro:** god i hope so i'm. fucking. WAAAH. 

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *12:04 PM***

**Want To Dead:** yo do any of you know what homework we had for bio?? i was uh gone

**Ass Ass In:** i can give you a copy of the homework 

**Want To Dead:** cool cool cool

**Ma:** I cannot believe you missed biology! How irresposible of you!

**Want To Dead:** eh it's whatever, bio is first period and i couldn't force myself to get out of bed until it was almost over

**Want To Dead:** so i just skipped it

**Peeano:** hey ryoma, should i be worried about you?? 

**Want To Dead:** i mean probably

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, Amami Rantaro *3:17 PM***

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I noticed you were absent from our classes today, is something the matter?

**Amami Rantaro:** nah i'm just feeling a little under the weather, you know?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Ah! I see, well in any case I hope you are well enough to attend classes tomorrow.

**Amami Rantaro:** haha so do i

**Amami Rantaro:** hey kiyo?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** What?

**Amami Rantaro:** sorry

**-Amami Rantaro has gone offline-**

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Oh.

**-Korekiyo Shinguji has gone offline-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again ty for reading!!! y'all are pretty damn rad if I do say so myself


	4. step on the gas. step on the gas? step on the brakes. step on the brakes? step on the brakes. step on the brakes? now step on the gas. step on the gas.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh idk chief kinda gay ngl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I killed two birds with one stone and got amaguji AND saiibo confirmed in one chapter suck on that losers

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *2:19 AM***

**Shoe Itchy:** so i uh am tired and bisexual anyone want to mcfricken vibe

**Refridgerator:** I am open for "vibing," Shuichi!

**Shoe Itchy:** god keeb you're so pure ily

**Refridgerator:** You.. love me??

**Shoe Itchy:** yeah!! you're babey and like one of my closest friends ha

**Shoe Itchy:** my dorm is unlocked btw so u can come in!!

**Refridgerator:** Alright!!

**Cultist:** Atua says those bitches gay

**MAAAGIC:** i wouldn't be surprised

**AvOwOcadOwO:** damn bitches be gay can't relate :pensive:

**Robot Fucker:** are you sure you uh want to say that

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yeah i uh am not gay wdym *nervous bisexual laughter*

**Robot Fucker:** no i mean are u sure u wna say tht after the conversation we had a few days ago

**AvOwOcadOwO:** hu h

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yeah uh so turns out i AM gay wouldja look at that hah

**Robot Fucker:** thats what i thought bitch boy

**Refridgerator:** Uh, you do realize we are still online?

**Robot Fucker:** yeah we do heehee

**Shoe Itchy:** uh okay vibe vibe

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, K1-B0 *7:37 AM***

**K1-B0:** AAH. HE'S SLEEPING AND I. KOREKIYO, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M GOING TO SHORT-CIRCUIT

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Whatever is the matter, Kiibo?

**K1-B0:** SHUICHI IS ASLEEP BECAUSE WE SPENT TIME TOGETHER AND THEN HE HUGGED ME AND HE FELL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS

**K1-B0:** AND I CANNOT SLEEP BECAUSE I AM A ROBOT SO I SPENT FOUR WHOLE HOURS LAYING IN HIS ARMS

**K1-B0:** I THINK I AM GOING TO SHORT-CIRCUIT

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** That is wonderful news, Kiibo! But, please do not overload your circuits.

**K1-B0:** I AM GOING TO KISS HIM

**K1-B0:** WHEN HE WAKES UP, I AM GOING TO KISS HIM

**K1-B0:** PUT MY LIPS RIGHT ON HIS!! I LOVE HIM AAH.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I hope all goes well, Kiibo.

**-New Message *8:14 AM*-**

**K1-B0:** I DID IT!! I KISSED SHUICHI!! I AM SO HAPPY!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** How did he respond?

**K1-B0:** I kissed him and he kissed me back and we just, kissed,, I adore him he makes me so happy!!

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I am happy that you are happy!

**K1-B0:** Hey something seems wrong! What's wrong?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Nothing is the matter.

**K1-B0:** Your "vibes are off".

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I was spending time with Amami and he kissed me a few days ago, and then I was going to ask him about it, and then he just told me he was sorry and then exited the chatroom.

**K1-B0:** Oh no!! If you're upset you should talk to him about it!! It's not good to leave things on a bad note with the people you care about.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I know, I just feel as if he couldn't

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Care about me.

**K1-B0:** I'm sure he cares about you, Kiyo! You should confront him.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I will do just that.

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, Amami Rantaro *8:39 PM***

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Amami?

**Amami Rantaro:** what's up, kiyo?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Kiibo advised I confront you, so here goes nothing.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I really enjoyed it when you kissed me. It made me very upset when you pretended nothing happened and moved on. 

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I have very strong feelings for you.

**Amami Rantaro:** i uh assumed u weren't into it

**Amami Rantaro:** like,, i uh

**Amami Rantaro:** i have a super big crush on you

**Amami Rantaro:** like i have since seventh grade

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Oh.

**Amami Rantaro:** i thought i was fucking up our friendship because i like you so fucking much

**Amami Rantaro:** that wasn't fair to u i was being stupid n selfish

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** You're quite alright, Rantaro.

**Amami Rantaro:** god i could rant about how pretty you are for days jkdsfjl

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Ha, I don't know what to say.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** You have rendered me speechless, consider this an achievement.

**Amami Rantaro:** jesus fuck you're so cute and you're so passionate about what u love and it's so endearing on u i literally cannot get over how fucking pretty and gorgeous and beautiful you are

**Amami Rantaro:** ur perfect and i want to kiss that stupid blush right back onto your face

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** If you would prefer to have this sorted in real life, my door is unlocked.

**Amami Rantaro:** omw right now i literally cannot wait to see you i need to right fucking now

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** You better be, you bastard.

**Amami Rantaro:** omg u can't just call me a bastard i will cry :pensive:

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Ah, I apologize.

**-> Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *6:12 AM***

**Shoe Itchy:** gmornin **@Refridgerator:** <3

**Refridgerator:** Good morning Shuichi!!

**Shoe Itchy:** hrngh,,, uwu

**Want To Dead:** what the fuck i'm sobbing did shuichi just uwu what

**Shoe Itchy:** i don't even know anymore dude

**Want To Dead:** ah i see

**Folklore Lad:** What in the name of all that is human did I just witness?

**Want To Dead:** shuichi said uwu

**Folklore Lad:** That is disgusting. Blocked and reported.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** shuichi do it again

**Shoe Itchy:** uwu

**Folklore Lad:** I may love all my friends platonically but Shuichi is now no longer deserving of _anyone's_ affection. Coming from me, you may as well be a dead man, Saihara.

**Shoe Itchy:** i'm crying why is he so mean 

**Refridgerator:** Hey!! What about MY affection??? He still deserves that ^v^

**Folklore Lad:** Kiibo this matter no longer concerns you

**Robot Fucker:** KOREKIYO YOU CAN'T DICTATE WHEN PEOPLE CAN AND CANNOT UWU, YOU LIKE PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

**Folklore Lad:** I believe all aspects of humanity are beautiful in their own ways, _including_ pineapple on pizza! You do not have as sophisticated a palate as I, therefore your opinions are invalid.

**Robot Fucker:** _yes ma'am the one with the long green hair he hurt my feelings kill him please_

**Folklore Lad:** I apologize for my unprofessional behavior. I shouldn't invalidate your opinions, as it is a trivial matter such as pizza toppings.

**Robot Fucker:** WHY DID YOU GET SO NICE ALL OF A SUDDEN I AM CONCERNED

**Folklore Lad:** It is nothing to dwell on, for I aksjfkljfdklsjfkajfkljasdlkfjakldsjdjskaf

**Robot Fucker:** woag

**Refridgerator:** What happened to him???

**AvOwOcadOwO:** can neither confirm nor deny that his brain short circuited over respecting someone's opinion on pineapple on pizza, something he is 100% too passionate about

**Want To Dead:** why are you two together it's 6:30 in the fuckin AM

**AvOwOcadOwO:** sometimes a bro's gotta do what a bro's gotta do

**AvOwOcadOwO:** and sometimes that means giving ur homie a lil goodnight kiss you know

**Want To Dead:** i see

**AvOwOcadOwO:** u feel me or nah

**Want To Dead:** lowkey feel u tbh

**AvOwOcadOwO:** thanks bro 

**Shoe Itchy:** i literally have no idea what's goign on anymoer

**Folklore Lad:** Everyone here has appalling spelling and grammar.

**Want To Dead:** kiyo ur literally the only one who cares

**Folklore Lad:** How disappointing.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** smh my head :punch::pensive:

**Folklore Lad:** I am thoroughly disappointed in all of you. Goodbye and goodnight.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** 'tis 6:37 am

**Folklore Lad:** Do I look like I give a singular damn.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i can vouch he doesn't

**AvOwOcadOwO:** kiyo u can't go back to sleep 

**Folklore Lad:** Why not?

**MAAAGIC:** omg rantaro u can't just deny someone sleep i can and will beat u up with my magic

**AvOwOcadOwO:** why am i the one in the wrong here

**Shoe Itchy:** i only end up checking my notifications every ten minutes or so and i'm left confused every single time

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** SHSL detective my ASS

**Shoe Itchy:** hrngh

**Shoe Itchy:** soup

**Folklore Lad:** 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙥?

**Shoe Itchy:** wha

**Folklore Lad:** 【s】【o】【u】【p】【?】

**Want To Dead:** kiyo are you okay

**Folklore Lad:** s⃞ o⃞ u⃞ p⃞ ?⃞

**Shoe Itchy:** i'm shakign and cryignh

**Folklore Lad:** (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ soup? ♥

**AvOwOcadOwO:** HE'S LAUGHING MANIACALLY I'M SCARED WHA

**-Ma has muted Folklore Lad for 1 hour on account of _Jesus Fucking Christ Korekiyo, Calm Yourself Before Someone Makes You_-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** ˜”*°•.˜”*°• soup? •°*”˜.•°*”˜

**-Ma has muted AvOwOcadOwO for 1 hour on account of _NOT YOU TOO_-**

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** s♥o♥u♥p♥?

**-Ma has muted *Circus Music Intensifies* for 1 hour on account of _I Will Murder All Of You With My Bare Hands_-**

**Want To Dead:** I'm traumatized

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *3:14 PM***

**SPAAACE!:** GUYS I'M FUCKING SOBBING I HAVE INSTRUCTOR MOOSELINI'S CAR RAP STUCK IN MY HEAD

**Ass Ass In:** what the everliving fuck

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoqllL8Vl6o)

**SPAAACE!:** CURSE YOU TIKTOK I FUCKING HATE YOU

**Ass Ass In:** what the

**Ass Ass In:** _ever living fuck?_

**SPAAACE!:** IT'S LITERALLY NOT EVEN A GOOD SONG IT'S JUST STUCK IN MY HEAD

**Cultist:** Atua says that song goes _hard_

**Want To Dead:** what the hell it's from a kid's rhythm game from the 90s

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** it's a good song kaito's just in (っ◔◡◔)っ d-d-d-d-d-d-deNIAL!!!!!

**SPAAACE!:** I NEED TO HOST A POLL I NEED EVERYONE'S OPINION

**SPAAACE!: @Everyone** SO IS INSTRUCTOR MOOSELINI'S CAR RAP A GOOD SONG OR NAH

**SPAAACE!:** I SAY NO

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** y e s

**Ass Ass In:** no

**Cultist:** Yes!

**Want To Dead:** kinda a banger tho ngl

**Stronk Lesbiab:** no. i don't like it.

**MAAAGIC:** i think it's good

**Stronk Lesbiab:** if himiko says it's good it must be!

**Robot Fucker:** lit rally luv, u just said u hated it xoxo

**Robot Fucker:** also that song's a classic lmao

**Refridgerator:** I... have no opinion.

**Shoe Itchy:** kind of good?

**Peeano:** of course it's good

**Ma:** I dislike it

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** ma how could u

**Miss Miku,,:** tis wonderful!

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta do not really understand,,

**AvOwOcadOwO:** IT BOPS WDYM KAITO

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** now we await korekiyo's response, he's been typing for a hot minute

**Folklore Lad:** Truly beautiful. One of humanity's greatest works of art, and I find my ears blessed to have heard such a thing. The flavor is immaculate.

**Miss Miku,,:** _"The flavor is immaculate."_ -Korekiyo Shinguji, 2k20

**Peeano:** aight kaito that's 10 yes to 4 no to 2 no opinion

**Peeano:** we win

**SPAAACE!:** GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heehoo!! i'm a disappointing human being :flushed: woag


	5. bone sex heehoo hell yeah so sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rantaro nut 4 time for bones!!!! no clickbait!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my lack of posting!!! I keep forgetting to write like a stupidhead dumdum meanie face!1!!11

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *4:11 AM***

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** yo i have bad news :pensive:

***Circus Music Intensifies*: @AvOwOcadOwO** i can't hang out i have the bubonic plague

**AvOwOcadOwO:** _aw, rats!_

**Robot Fucker:** fucking

**Robot Fucker:** disgusting

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yeah fair

**Folklore Lad:** I wish you had the bubonic plague, Kokichi.

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** >:0

***Circus Music Intensifies*: @Everyone** cancel korekiyo :rage: he said he wished i were dead :rage:

**Ma:** Frankly? I don't care.

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** MA HOW COULD YOU

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta don't think anyone should have the plague...

**Folklore Lad:** Drat, foiled again by Gonta. I cannot say anything mean to him, or people will burn me at the stake like a witch.

**Want To Dead:** the question now is, did you _want_ to say anything mean to gonta?

**Folklore Lad:** I wasn't particularly inclined to do so.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** ig korekiyo is a witch now? i wouldn't be surprised

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** lit rally luv, we shood burn 'im xoxo

**Folklore Lad:** The absolute word-vomit you just typed out has given me an aneurysm. I have died. I gift all my earthly belongings to Rantaro.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** hang on what do i get

**Folklore Lad:** 34 empty notebooks, 14 antique pens, my red rope, my collection of dried flowers (some are hidden within said empty notebooks) my anthropology field journals, and if you would enjoy to have them, my bones.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** firstly. thanks for ur kink rope

**Folklore Lad:** Shut up.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** secondly. what would i need ur bones for. to shove up my ass?

**Folklore Lad:** I find bones to be an interesting decorative element, but if you were to disrespect my remains like that, I won't give them to you.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** no i want them 

**Folklore Lad:** _What are you going to be doing with my bones, Amami?_

**AvOwOcadOwO:** uhhh normal bone things

**AvOwOcadOwO:** like uh,, recreating your skeleton and hanging it up somewhere??

**Folklore Lad:** Interesting. What purpose would my skeleton serve?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i'm going to have sex with it every night

**AvOwOcadOwO:** what the fuck do you think?? because skeletons look v cool

**Folklore Lad:** You had enticed me for a moment.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** oh yeah, think about me putting my dick in your empty pelvis every night oh yeah

**Folklore Lad:** I am so aroused. You've wounded me beyond words, and I cannot recover from this, pardon my French, _nut._

**AvOwOcadOwO:** EJGKJKDFLJGKDFLJJKGHFK

**Folklore Lad:** Oh yes.

**-Folklore Lad has gone offline-**

**Want To Dead:** i don't know how i'm supposed to respond to that?

**Peeano:** ik they were joking but that felt like the weirdest form of foreplay i've ever seen in my life

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** JKDL;GHERWKJFL

**Ma:** I don't have the energy for this anymore

**Robot Fucker:** ten bucks says kiyo was legitimately aroused by the bone talk

**Miss Miku,,,:** if i'm being honest, i'd take that bet.

**Peeano:** honestly? fair

**->Korekiyo Shinguji has created a group chat-**

**-Korekiyo Shinguji has added Amami Rantaro, Tojo Kirumi, Akamatsu Kaede, and K1-B0 to the chat-**

**-Korekiyo Shinguji has changed 5 nicknames-**

**Walmart Cat Piano:** what's this about, kiyo?

**Mother:** Yeah, what is the purpose of this chat?

**Mythology Man:** Apologies, but I am in a bit of a dilemma.

**Tesla Cybertruck:** What's wrong, Kiyo? Also my nickname is.. interesting.

**Mythology Man:** I apologize again, Rantaro asked me to make that your nickname if I ever made a group chat.

**Bone Fucker:** lmao i did

**Bone Fucker:** COME ON

**Mythology Man:** My bones? You certainly will.

**Bone Fucker:** you're the worst

**Mythology Man:** An interesting thought we shall explore later. Anyways, I have... bad news.

**Mother:** What is wrong?

**Mythology Man:** My sister is trying to see me.

**Walmart Cat Piano:** holy fucking shit, can we do anything to help?

**Mythology Man:** Just please keep her away from me. I'm going to have to find a place to stay, as she knows where I live.

**Tesla Cybertruck:** Don't you have a restraining order against her?

**Mythology Man:** She doesn't care.

**Bone Fucker:** you're always welcome to stay at my house, kiyo. she probably knows where our dorms are but u can say there until everything blows over

**Mythology Man:** Thank you, Amami.

**Walmart Cat Piano:** well, i'm gonna be right here if an ass needs beating or if you need support!

**Tesla Cybertruck:** I will do all I can, as well!

**Mother:** I can do my best to help, your safety and happiness are our number 1 priority.

**Mythology Man:** I appreciate your contributions. You all are too kind towards me.

**Bone Fucker:** kiyo ily and you literally? deserve the world

**Walmart Cat Piano:** i'm here for you!! also rantaro u le:weary:sbian :hot_face:

**Bone Fucker:** :flushed:

**Tesla Cybertruck:** Anyways.. I'm here for you, Kiyo! I'll try to help any way I can!

**Mythology Man:** Thank you all.

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *2:16 PM***

**Robot Fucker:** when you

**Robot Fucker:** *fades out of this astral plane while calling you a cretin*

**Miss Miku,,,:** i see

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** when you pee

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** *pees on your home*

**Shoe Itchy:** no.

**-Shoe Itchy has gone offline-**

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** i see

**Miss Miku,,,:** i see

**Robot Fucker:** i see

**-AvOwOcadOwO is online-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** what the everliving fuck did i just wake up to

**Miss Miku,,,:** you... woke up at 2:30 pm?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** this motherfucker sleeps like a brick!

**Folklore Lad:** I can confirm. He fell asleep on my leg once and it took me around 30 minutes to wake him. My circulation was long-gone.

**Robot Fucker:** wish that were me. i wake up every 2 seconds and then it either takes 2 seconds to fall back asleep or 2 years

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** i sleep like a regular person! y'all dumb.

**Robot Fucker:** well excuse my irregular fuckin sleepin patterns! how bout u take it up with my subconcious? 

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** might be impossible to find seeing as you have one braincell and that braincell goes entirely towards horny

**Robot Fucker:** :rage:

**AvOwOcadOwO:** haha when you r vibing but then ur suddenly not vibing

**Miss Miku,,,:** :pensive:

**Folklore Lad:** I see, I see. But what does it truly mean to vibe, anymroe?

**Folklore Lad:** *Anymore

**Folklore Lad:** Fuck.

**Folklore Lad:** Oh no, why are seven people typing? Am I in danger?

**Miss Miku,,,:** anymroe anymroe anymroe anymroe anymroe anymroe

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** :pensive: anymroe...

**Robot Fucker:** A N Y M R O E

**Folklore Lad:** So it is alright for you all to have atrocious spelling but when I make one singular spelling mistake I am the object of ridicule? What a ridiculous double-standard. I despise you all. You've killed me again. Rantaro, you still get my earthly belongings.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** haha anymroe

**Folklore Lad:** I take it back! My belongings shall be cast into the ocean, never to be seen again! Is this how it feels to be betrayed by the one you have chosen to adore? 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** no bb please don't divorce me :weary: i take it back

**Folklore Lad:** I cannot hear you, for I am dead. Dead people cannot hear.

**Miss Miku,,,:** but you're reading. this is discord.

**Folklore Lad:** Oh Tsumugi, one to ruin the sentiment.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** wow i cannot believe kiyo just. pulled a pop tarts divorce papers on me :pensive:

**Peeano:** are we all going to ignore that kiyo said fuck????????????????????//

**Miss Miku,,,:** WH A T

**Robot Fucker:** I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** baby's first swear word :flushed:

**Folklore Lad:** You all may, as Rantaro would say, "Go suck on a caterpillar dick."

**Peeano:** my organs are bleeding i can't handle this

**Miss Miku,,,:** kaede, may i, keep them?

**Peeano:** keep... my w ha t?? or g ans??? ble e d ing or ga ns?? ? ? ?? 

**Miss Miku,,,:** yes!

**Peeano:** i'm concerned

**Cultist:** Atua would also like to gather a few of your organs, Kaede!! Nyahaha!

**Miss Miku,,,:** did she just. type out her laugh

**Folklore Lad:** You do not see me saying "kukuku" or "kehehe" in the chat room. This means I am at least superior to Angie.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i thought you were dead. dead people can't type out messages on discord

**Folklore Lad:** I apologize. You have regained the right to my earthly possessions.

**Shoe Itchy:** i leave. for T W E L V E M I N U T E S ! I Q U I T ! K I I B O, Y O U ' R E C O M I N G W I T H M E ! W E ' R E S K E D A D D L I N G !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eXCITING NEWS!! I FINALLY ORDERED MY KOREKIYO COSPLAY!! IT'S IN THE MAIL1!!!!!!


	6. mcfucking uh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUYS THIS SHIT GETS HEAVY. IT GOES FROM FUNNEE TO HEAVY. BE WARNED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, this goes from funny to really intense fast. TW for mentions of s//xual ab//se and whatnot. this is kiyo's backstory, so like. be warned. i'm really sorry if I represented anything wrong, i'd feel so bad if I did. CSA is an incredibly horrible thing to go through and nobody deserves to have that happen to them.

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *4:12 AM***

**Robot Fucker:** i have a good idea >:) for a game

**Robot Fucker:** i change the names into our embarrassing secrets and we have to guess who is who. i'm involved too.

**Robot Fucker:** let the madness begin :weary:

**-Robot Fucker has changed 16 nicknames-**

**peed in a school restroom once >:( :** this is certainly interesting!!

**accidentally burned down an abandoned 7-11:** can't be a girl

**doesn't hate one man and that man is brian david gilbert:** why??

**accidentally burned down an abandoned 7-11:** because girls don't pee lmao

**accidentally burned down an abandoned 7-11: @doesn't hate one man and that man is brian david gilbert** is tenko

**-isn't as heterosexual as they appear chaanged doesn't hate one man and that man is brian david gilbert's nickname to Stronk Lesbiab-**

**isn't as heterosexual as they appear:** WAIT FUCK

**-isn't as heterosexual as they appear changed their name to Robot Fucker-**

**Robot Fucker:** ya caught me haha

**is secretly a communist and runs an anti-capitalism blog on tumblr:** You have played yourself, my friend.

**is secretly a communist and runs an anti-capitalism blog on tumblr:** HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?

**Robot Fucker:** ;)

**got thrown over a net during a tennis game:** damn. i feel like there's only one person in our class that could be.

**cried tears of joy when MCR got back together:** kiyo

**got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms:** kiyo

**stepped on a beetle once:** gonta think it is korekiyo!

**stepped on a beetle once:** gonta is very sorry mr. beetle D:

**-Robot Fucker changed stepped on a beetle once's nickname to Pure Bug Boy-**

**-Robot Fucker changed is secretly a communist and runs an anti-capitalism blog on tumblr's nickname to Folklore Lad-**

**Folklore Lad:** Fine! I think corporate capitalism will be the death of our society as we know it! In this essay I will

**cried tears of joy when MCR got back together:** finish the essay op

**got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms:** _finish the essay op_

**Folklore Lad:** Fine! Just go find the tumblr blog I possess that Iruma so backhandedly revealed.

**got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms:** nice i will thanks

**secretly kins sans from undertale:** oh goodness

**got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms: @secretly kins sans from undertale** ok tsumugi

**-Robot Fucker changed secretly kins sans from undertale's nickname to Miss Miku,,,-**

**has a tiktok account and is cringe ass:** at least my secret isn't cringe ass

**has a tiktok account and is cringe ass:**

**has a tiktok account and is cringe ass:** FUCK

**cosplays hatsune miku:** feel like that's kokichi

**-Robot Fucker changed has a tiktok account and is cringe ass's nickname to *Circus Music Intensifies*-**

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**cosplays hatsune miku:** i don't care if you're a baby. i'll snap your neck.

**Folklore Lad:** Maki?

**-Robot Fucker changed cosplays hatsune miku's nickname to Ass Ass In-**

**Ass Ass In:** fine. if anyone speaks a word of this, i'll kill them with my own two hands.

**accidentally burned down an abandoned 7-11:** harumaki cosplays miku

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** hahahah kaito is an arsonist

**-Robot Fucker changed accidentally burned down an abandoned 7-11's nickname to SPAAACE!-**

**SPAAACE!:** :rage:

**said fuck once:** :( I did not!

**Folklore Lad:** My goodness Kiibo, how dare you swear in this fucking Christian household.

**-Robot Fucker changed said fuck once's nickname to Refridgerator-**

**cried tears of joy when MCR got back together:** still not over the fact that kiyo is a communist

**can play every undertale song on the piano:** smh my head :pensive:

**stays up until 2 am playing animal crossing every night:** shuichi and kaede

**-Robot Fucker changed 2 nicknames-**

**Shoe Itchy:** i was legitimately happy

**Peeano:** i only learned them because of megalovania...

**got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms:** none of u know who i am :pensive:

**failed a math test once and cried over it:** It is fairly obvious that you are Rantaro

**-Robot Fucker changed got high in a gas station bathroom and proceeded to shoplift 14 bags of sour worms's nickname to AvOwOcadOwO-**

**failed a math test once and cried over it: @stays up until 2 am playing animal crossing every night** You must fix your sleep schedule

**stays up until 2 am playing animal crossing every night:** thanks mom

**-Robot Fucker changed 2 nicknames-**

**got thrown over the net in a tennis match:** huh. inch resting

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta think you are ryoma!

**-Robot Fucker changed got thrown over the net in a tennis match's nickname to Want To Dead-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** damn like. what even just happened

**Folklore Lad:** I presume our "darkest secrets" have been revealed.

**Robot Fucker:** ur literally a communist

**Folklore Lad:** And?

**peed in a school restroom once >:( :** nyahaha!

**Robot Fucker:** i forgot about angie

**Stronk Lesbiab:** we all forgot about angie

**-Robot Fucker changed peed in a school restroom once >:('s nickname to Cultist-**

**SPAAACE!:** _wait girls can pee????????????_

**->Direct Message: Korekiyo Shinguji, Iruma Miu *11:51 AM***

**Iruma Miu:** kiyo. my chat, my business. why'dja put air quotes around "darkest secrets". not trying to pry, if there's anything you don't wanna talk about we're all good and you can just tell me you don't want to talk about it. just letting u know tho, if u need to talk, i'll listen, kay?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** How uncharacteristically kind of you, Iruma.

**Iruma Miu:** hey! i'm a good person, who'dja think helped ur dumbass boyfriend get over being scared to tell you how he felt

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I told him how I felt first, but whatever you say.

**Iruma Miu: are u pissed at me?**

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Ah, I apologize. I'm stressed out, is all.

**Iruma Miu:** whassup?

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** My "darkest secret" and whatnot.

**Iruma Miu:** people hating on u for me outing u as a communist or

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Let us discuss other things.

**Iruma Miu:** okay what can possibly be more traumatizing than corporate capitalism

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Being repeatedly sexually abused by my older sister who is eight years older than me, ever since I was nine years old.

**Iruma Miu:** o

**Iruma Miu:** oh shit i fucked up oh shit

**Iruma Miu:** holy shit that's horrible

**Iruma Miu:** kiyo i'm so fucking sorry that's

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** It's quite alright, it's hardly possible for you to have known.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** She is trying to find me again, after I managed to get a restraining order against her. It was a complicated legal process that will soon be all for nothing

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Miu, I don't feel safe anymore

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I fucking thought I had _finally_ gotten rid of her, and now she's trying to crawl her way back into my already miserable life.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I want to end it all now, the problem would be solved. She fucking ruined me, I'm impure. Unlovable

**Iruma Miu:** kiyo don't say shit like that. i'm so fucking sorry that happened to you, and ik i probably can't do much, but i want you to let me know if there's anything i can do for you at all. you didn't deserve to go through that, i wish i could help you more. i care about you dude, and she didn't ruin you. you're so fuckin cool. you're korekiyo motherfuckin shinguji! trauma and all, that's part of who you are. it doesn't make u less than anyone else. you're literally perfect just the way you are, and i'd be lying if i didn't think u were kinda sexy in a weird way. if u don't believe me, go ask ur bf!! he loves u so much. he's loved you since _seventh fucking grade._ he literally adores u. he can probably help you more than i can, but like!! damn dude ur actually a really cool friend. ur sister is a bitchass cunt and i will fight her with my own two hands and the power of horniness and this gun i found.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I... don't exactly know how I should respond to that.

**Iruma Miu:** u like. dont have to say anything dude, my incoherent wordvomit is like. impossible and stupid. i jsut want you to know ur like. really neat. and i want to do anything i can to help you feel safe. hmu if i can do ANYTHING AT ALL

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** Thank you, Iruma. I appreciate that you care.

**Iruma Miu:** ofc dude i'm here for you. i feel so out-of-character in an odd way, like i shoulndt fucking act like this but i want to help you. want me to like. beat the shit outta your sister

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I would appreciate it, but she would just use it to her advantage and you could get charged with assault.

**Iruma Miu:** how the everliving fuck did she not get sent to prison??? she raped a minor. that's like. double nasty >:(

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** She can play the victim no matter what situation, and is incredibly good at manipulating people. 

**Iruma Miu:** if we can find some hard evidence that matches your testimony we can probably get her. if using my inventing skills for investigating is the best way i can help you, i'll do that. i want her to be away from you. you deserve to feel safe among your real family.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** But she is my "real family."

**Iruma Miu:** she's ur genetic family. real family is the people you choose. class 53 is your real family, if you want us to be.

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** I would appreciate that, a lot actually.

**->Group Chat: Korekiyo Shinguji, Amami Rantaro, +3 others *12:30 PM***

**-Iruma Miu has been added to the chat-**

**-Iruma Miu has changed their nickname to InventWhore-**

**Bone Fucker:** baby not to be rude but why the actual fuck was miu added to this chat

**-Iruma Miu changed the Group Chat's name to Arrest Kiyo's Sister Gang-**

**Bone Fucker:** i see i see

**Mythology Man:** Everyone, Miu is now beginning to formulate a plan of sorts.

**InventWhore:** yeah so kiyo's sister is a bitchass whore and i want to send her to prison for a very long time

**Mythology Man:** I do not understand why you suddenly care for me, Iruma.

**InventWhore:** because csa is a real problem and it affects so many people

**Bone Fucker:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ i wanna help this plan if it's legitimately going to get miyadera in jail

**Mother:** I agree with this plan, and will do anything any of you ask of me.

**Tesla Cybertruck:** I am not sure if I can realistically contribute, but I would like to help as much as I can!

**Walmart Cat Piano:** i wanna help >:( kiyo's sister should. mcfucking leave

**InventWhore:** god kaeidiot why do you have to be so adorably optimistic smh we need to stay on track

**Bone Fucker:** again, kiyo, i'm gonna let you stay with me as long as you need. i love you so fucking much and if she ever lays a finger on you again i'll tear it off.

**Mythology Man:** I appreciate it, my beloved.

**Bone Fucker:** fhfkjhjfhgd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jdkfjddklsjgfjdghsjghdfgsjf....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Bone Fucker:** hrngh you know how flustered that nickname makes me >:| sfdhgjfdk how am i supposed to focus on kicking your sister's sorry ass into hell if you keep makign me have strokes.

**Mythology Man:** I apologize.

**Mythology Man:** _My beloved..._

**Bone Fucker:** you are an evil, evil man, korekiyo shinguji.

**Bone Fucker:** ilysm

**Mother:** So.. Does Iruma have a plan?

**InventWhore:** so i'm planning on finding hard evidence of sexual misconduct with a minor and using it against her in a court of law

**Mythology Man:** The problem is that she is an incredibly manipulative woman and can likely use our evidence to her benefit. She only got off with _community fucking service_ when I called the authorities on her last time, and there was lots of evidence she had been sexually abusing me.

**Tesla Cybertruck:** Oh! Perhaps I could use my recording function to catch if she says anything illegal.

**Walmart Cat Piano:** I can set up hidden cameras! Hiding things like that is sort of my specialty.

**Mother:** I can observe her. I am swift and stealthy.

**Bone Fucker:** and i'm a fucking mean shot with a gun

**Mythology Man:** I am not letting you shoot my sister.

**Bone Fucker:** but i wanna. she's mean >:(

**Mythology Man:** Love, I'm not letting you go to prison as well.

**Bone Fucker:** fine. i'm gonna try my best to make sure you're safe, k?

**Mythology Man:** Thank you.

**Bone Fucker:** ofc babe ilysm

**Mythology Man:** :|)|

**Mother:** Anyways, I will try my hardest to help convict her. Once we find the evidence, if she tries to see you again, we can call the police on account of breaking a restraining order.

**InventWhore:** agree with mom, that'll be enough to get her on house arrest at least if nothing else works

**Mythology Man:** I believe that that is the best course of action.

**Bone Fucker:** tell us if she tries to do anything to you, i'll try to be with you at all time anyways

**Mythology Man:** I will.

**Bone Fucker:** we should probably tell the main chat so they can help, only if kiyo is ok telling everyone bout his trauma tho

**InventWhore:** agree^^

**Mythology Man:** Telling the main class would make the most sense to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so. I probably got this entire thing all wrong, because i'm a stoopyhead. the miyadera arc shall end within the next chapter or 2 so we can get back to the funnee antics! my heart goes out to any CSA survivors. y'all are so strong, and have been through a lot. I wish I could do something to help all of you guys, but unfortunately i'm a stranger on the internet and can't really help as much as I wish I could. I hope talking about kiyo's story can help, but i'm sure I represented it wrong and i'm so sorry if I did. yall are so brave. i'm proud of you guys for making it through the shit you went through.


	7. FELLAS... WE GOT EM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BRO THIS IS A STRESSFUL CHAPTER BUT WE SHOULD GO BACK TO MEMES AFTER THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty all for reading!! I appreciate my regulars and everyone else sm

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *3:04 AM***

**Peeano:** I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THIS FUCKER IS DEAD

**Want To Dead:** who?

**Peeano:** TOAD FROM MARIO

**Want To Dead:** what's up with the hatred towards toad

**Peeano:** HE'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING HE CAN GO "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" IN PUBLIC AND _I_ CAN'T??

**Want To Dead:** fair point but it's 3 am

**Peeano:** couldn't sleep

**Miss Miku,,,:** what's up kai yay day?

**Peeano:** oh,, heck you smoogy >:(

**Peeano:** but like. i'm tired but i can't fucking fall asleep so now i'm playing mario kart and want toad to DIE

**Miss Miku,,,:** personally i think toad is just plain annoying

**Miss Miku,,,:** i agree with your point about him being able to scream at the top of his lungs but we can't like? wtf

**Peeano:** exactly

**Peeano:** i will commit a war crime against toad

**Want To Dead:** i

**Want To Dead:** cool

**Stronk Lesbiab:** toad is a fucking degenerate

**Stronk Lesbiab:** i can and WILL punt him into the sun

**Miss Miku,,,:** thanks for your contribution tenko

**Folklore Lad:** All currently awake, say I.

**Folklore Lad:** I.

**Miss Miku,,,:** I!

**Peeano:** i

**Want To Dead:** i

**Folklore Lad:** Shall we form an insomniac club for those who sleep consistantly evades?

**Miss Miku,,,:** sounds wonderful!

**Peeano:** unfortunately i usually sleep well :( so i can't join da group. just things on my mind! so i'm not sleeping

**Miss Miku,,,:** what sort of things are on your mind?

**Peeano:** things and stuff and things

**Miss Miku,,,:** things and stuff? and things too?

**Peeano:** yeah! and things too!

**Miss Miku,,,:** my goodness!! i'm here if you'd like to talk about things

**Peeano:** yeah i actually kind of want to talk really fast

**Miss Miku,,,:** dm me!

**->Direct Message: Shirogane Tsumugi, Akamatsu Kaede *3:24 AM***

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** what are the things and stuff on your mind?

**Akamatsu Kaede:** listen, i have like, a lot to say

**Akamatsu Kaede:** and i want you to pretty please not judge me

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** i would never!

**Akamatsu Kaede:** girls

**Akamatsu Kaede:** are neat

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** yes we all knew this? and?

**Akamatsu Kaede:** what i'm trying to say is that i'm a lesbian

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** immaculate!! the flavor.

**Akamatsu Kaede:** that's an odd thing to say after someone comes out as gay

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** what i'm trying to say is that ur valid n i support you! girls are pretty...

**Akamatsu Kaede:** girls................

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** ngl i thought u had a lil thing for shuichi

**Akamatsu Kaede:** nah we're just friends 

**Akamatsu Kaede:** he's had a thing for kiibo for a while

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** fair enough kiibo is precious

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** the creator of this fanfiction wants to give kiibo a hug and a million kisses!

**Akamatsu Kaede:** w... wha t?

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** ;) just don't question it

**Akamatsu Kaede:** i sure won't

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** any fictional crushes?

**Akamatsu Kaede:** hina from bandori kinda cute doe.. and kaoru too....

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** u do realize that kaoru is lesbian female korekiyo right

**Akamatsu Kaede:** _and?_

**Shirogane Tsumugi:** fair enough

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *10:38 AM***

**Folklore Lad: @Everyone** I have an announcement to make.

**Robot Fucker:** shadow the hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker he pissed on my wife

**Peeano:** probably not the time miu

**Robot Fucker:** yeah sorry :(

**Miss Miku,,,:** o?

**Want To Dead:** o?

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta is curious!

**Cultist:** Atua knows what Korekiyo is going to say... but implores him to say it anyways.

**Folklore Lad:** Two things. Firstly, Rantaro and I are dating. We have been for a few weeks, now.

**Miss Miku,,,:** congrats!!

**Stronk Lesbiab:** nice.. i guess

**MAAAGIC:** cool. will you two please be my dads

**AvOwOcadOwO:** yes

**Folklore Lad:** I plan on becoming nobody's father, young lady.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** kiyo please she asked so kindly

**Folklore Lad:** Fine, I accept your proposal. Just know this does _not_ mean I will pack your lunches in the morning.

**MAAAGIC:** yay

**Folklore Lad:** Anyways, secondly. This is incredibly hard for me to talk about, so I apologize if I type for a while.

**Robot Fucker:** take your time my guy

**AvOwOcadOwO:** take as much time as u need

**Want To Dead:** yeah dude we can wait

**Pure Bug Boy:** Is Korekiyo okay???

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** lmao trauma

**Shoe Itchy:** shut the fuck up ouma not funny

**Refridgerator:** Your mental health is important! Take all the time you need!!

**Folklore Lad:** So... From where should I even begin? You all know I have an older sister, and that I haven't seen her in a long time. This is because I had a restraining order placed on her when I was fourteen, as she had been sexually abusing me since I was nine years old. I couldn't handle it anymore, and called the police. She manipulated her way into getting only 200 hours of community service, even though there was proof she had been hurting me. She's trying to see me again, and I don't know what to do. I want to feel safe again. I talked to Miu, Kaede, Rantaro, Kiibo, and Kirumi, and they all began to formulate a plan to keep her away or get her arrested. I presume the others can do the talking?

**Robot Fucker:** i'm using my inventing skills to come up with ways to go through her place, theres gotta be proof of sexual misconduct with a minor in there

**Refridgerator:** But isn't that illegal?

**Robot Fucker:** if we get a good judge who sees that we're trying to keep a dangerous person away from our friend, they'll hopefully be on our side

**Folklore Lad:** Unfortunately, Miyadera is very manipulative.

**Robot Fucker:** and she can catch? these hands

**Folklore Lad:** I'm not quite sure that'd help, at all, actually.

**Robot Fucker:** and????????????????????????????? she can still catch these hands

**Want To Dead:** how the fuck do you plan on catchin her? 

**Robot Fucker:** when she tries to see him, we get evidence of misconduct and also kinda. take her into da police.

**Want To Dead:** let me recruit gonta real quick

**Want To Dead: @Pure Bug Boy** kiyo's sister steps on bugs for fun and also abuses him

**Pure Bug Boy:** D:< gonta thinks that is mean!! gonta help class catch not nice lady, kiyo don't deserve that! also she step on bugs and that is mean!!!

**Want To Dead:** that's the spirit

**Folklore Lad:** I presume she will try to contact me...

**-Folklore Lad sent a screenshot-**

**Folklore Lad:** Speak of the devil.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** answer it but record her. block her if she starts being shitty

**Folklore Lad:** Alright.

**Robot Fucker:** fuck

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** fuck indeed

**Cultist:** Atua says this will not work out well for miyadera shinguji, and His word is divine.

**Stronk Lesbiab:** thanks angie. you're actually helpful for once

**Cultist:** He does not appreciate your passive-aggressive comments!

**Stronk Lesbiab:** yeah yeah whatever

**MAAAGIC:** dont be mean to angie smh

**Stronk Lesbiab:** ok,, sorry angie

**Refridgerator:** Kiyo has been a while... I'm a little concerned.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** fuck i wish i was with him

**Folklore Lad:** I've returned. Take a listen for yourself.

**-Folklore Lad sent an mp3 file-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** what the fuck

**Want To Dead:** i'm gonna agree with rantaro what the fuck

**Robot Fucker:** she really said "i still love u bb i'll take you back" as if you didn't get a restraining order for her oh my god what a manipulative bitch

**AvOwOcadOwO:** kiyo my offer still stands i'm a good marksman

**Ass Ass In:** jesus fuck, kiyo

**SPAAACE!:** god damn

**Folklore Lad:** It's as if she thinks I haven't realized what she's done to me. It's like she thinks I haven't moved on, and tried to get over it. It's like she thinks I haven't been seeing a therapist weekly for the past two years because of her.

**Robot Fucker:** she does not have the right to treat you like that

**Folklore Lad:** I've blocked her. She probably knows where I am, though.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** babe please come over to my place i'm scared

**Folklore Lad:** On my way now.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** fuckfuck fuck kiyo i'm glad you're here but i'm scared she might have installed a tracker on your phone somehow

**Folklore Lad:** Love, all will be well. I'm almost there. 

**AvOwOcadOwO:** BABE ABORT I THINK I SEE HER OUTSIDE

**Folklore Lad:** You're sure that's not me?

**AvOwOcadOwO:** looks like you, taller, older looking, more feminine, has tits, it's her

**Folklore Lad:** Where shall I go??

**Robot Fucker:** come to the place you know where it is

**AvOwOcadOwO:** SHE'S KNOCKING ON THE DOOR I CAN'T NO FUCK I'LL BE OFF FOR A SEC

**-AvOwOcadOwO has gone offline-**

**Want To Dead:** what's "the place"

**Robot Fucker:** an abandoned bar i found. looks like a villain hideout tbh

**Want To Dead:** lmao nice

**Robot Fucker:** fuck i didn't have time to finish everything but everyone involved please meet us at the place i told you

**Ma:** Can do.

**Peeano:** omw now

**Refridgerator:** I'm coming at once!

**Robot Fucker:** ok we'll talk out our plan there

**Folklore Lad:** Rantaro will be hurt and it's all my fault.

**Refridgerator:** Don't tell yourself that! He'll be okay.

**AvOwOcadOwO has come online-**

**AvOwOcadOwO:** she's gone, she asked if i'd seen you and i misdirected her and am now making a run for it to the bar

**Folklore Lad:** Oh thank goodness, you're alright.

**Folklore Lad:** Fuck, she'll find us, she's following Rantaro, I'm sure of it.

**Robot Fucker:** calling the police now

**Robot Fucker:** hang on

**Refridgerator:** Thank you, Miu!

**Folklore Lad:** Rantaro, if she finds you, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you tell her we're dating, she'll try to hurt you.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** noted. i'm almost there miu, who's there? 

**Robot Fucker:** me, kiib, kirumi, and kaede

**Folklore Lad:** I am here, let me in. I know the knock.

**Robot Fucker:** get the hell in here

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i made it too

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta want to know where bar is so he can protect others!

**Robot Fucker:** thanks gonta but i don't think we need your help rn tysm though

**Pure Bug Boy:** gonta is here to help if you need him!

**Robot Fucker:** just got off the phone with the police they're on the way

**Folklore Lad:** What did you say to them??

**Robot Fucker:** i told them to tell me if they find her bc your life is in danger

**Robot Fucker:** i'm still on the line they've transferred me to an officer.

**Robot Fucker:** i described her

**Cultist:** Atua sends best wishes and his blessing

**Refridgerator:** Thank you, Angie!

**->Group Chat: HEE HEE GAY *4:59 PM***

**Robot Fucker:** LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

**Robot Fucker:** WE GOT EM

**Want To Dead:** YEAH

**Pure Bug Boy:** GONTA IS HAPPY!

**Folklore Lad:** Oh, the sheer wave of relief that washed over me was heavenly.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 we're gonna have to go to the trial but we can do it! we can fuckin do anything! she's going away for a long time!

**Folklore Lad:** I am so pleased! Thank you all, for your efforts and/or moral support. It means the world to me.

**Shoe Itchy:** i can help u guys put together the case against her

**Miss Miku,,,:** kiyo, i'll make you whatever you want! free of charge! hmu whenever, you deserve it!

***Circus Music Intensifies*:** glad that whore is off the streets

**AvOwOcadOwO:** kiyo told her to, and i quote, "fuck off and die so you may crawl back to whatever being in the deepest pit of hell saw fit to let you exist."

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i'm shedding real tears i'm so proud

**Ma:** There is an apple pie in the oven for you as we speak, as I know you like them.

**Folklore Lad:** I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for being my friends.

**Robot Fucker:** ur our family, dude

**MAAAGIC:** you and rantaro are the weird gay uncles and i support you

**Folklore Lad:** I love you all, so much.

**AvOwOcadOwO:** i love you too kiyo you're just. *chef's kiss*

**Robot Fucker:** kiyo, you are homie

**Want To Dead:** you're pretty rad, dude.

**Folklore Lad:** It may be five pm, but I am going to take a nap. I'm exhausted. Thank you all, so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm tired and don't have much to say lmao

**Author's Note:**

> take!! this!! shit!!!


End file.
